


Open handed

by purplefox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:36:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7467123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi is so used to doing things for others that being given permission to do such a selfish thing stuns him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open handed

“It’s okay?” Kakashi hesitated at the door he glanced back to see his friends, his team gathered behind him. “Are you sure about this?” He had looked after them for so long, fought with them and for them for so long that now that he was about to do his own thing he felt queasy deep inside.

“Listen to him.” Genma chuckled as he chewed on his senbon. “Kakashi enough is enough get going already.”

Kakashi still hesitated. His hand lingered on the doorknob as he stared at his friends, his throat felt tight and under his mask he bit his lip as he hesitated. “You guys will you be okay? Will you manage? I know you are strong but…” He frowned and released the doorknob in regret.

“Kakashi.” Gai spoke up, “Go already. We will be fine, all this time you have been unselfish. Considerate you’ve given up so much for us over and over again, for the first time since we met I’ve seen you passionate about something.”

“Beyond the books.” Shisui laughed. “Go we’ll be fine. We can deal without you, we are captains in our own rights too, you worrying makes us look bad.”

“I…” Kakashi searched their faces, he had been with them for so long. Fought with them, trained them and listened to their hopes. He had done what he had thought was his best but part of him still felt as though he was abandoning them. He so badly wanted to open the door, he so badly wanted to go forward but to leave his friends and their work behind?

“Just don’t forget us.” Genma said softly. “Take care of that kid. Since you met him, he’s all you talk about you know? Go with him and look out for him. He doesn’t have anyone else and Kakashi.” Genma’s face softened. “You don’t want anyone else.”

Kakashi flushed at how easily he had been seen through. His hand gripped the doorknob once more and he searched his friends’ faces. Read the happiness in their expressions as they stood together to tell him goodbye. He could look at them and remember the years, the good times, the bad times, the heart-breaking times. The times that made them a better team, made them better friends.

It made his chest tightened and his throat clench. “Thank you.” He managed to choke out, his eyes itched and Kakashi opened the door, he was not going to say goodbye to his friends and his reputation on the same day. The wind blew inside and even as it ruffled his hair Kakashi felt his heart clench in sadness and anticipation. “Thank you.” He whispered again, “For everything.”

He allowed the door to close behind him but before it could fully close he heard the sound of boots on the floor he turned back with a frown but his eyes widened when he heard it.

“Thank you, Sir!” The shout carried through the closed door and Kakashi ducked his head as he listened to his former team fall into formation. His pack felt heavy on his back but he walked forward anyway and with each step down away from them he relaxed and his thoughts went from guilt to something else.

X

Naruto stood by the road one hand on his silver horse as he fiddled with the zip to his jacket, the orange colour had always amused Kakashi but now that he had made his decision, was going through with it the colour orange was more a beacon than anything else.

He felt less guilt just by approaching Naruto. The horse was carrying quite a few pouches, Kakashi knew that Naruto’s plan was not to ride away but that he really had been planning on leaving, but he had told Kakashi his intentions from the very beginning.

“Kakashi!” Blue eyes locked onto him and the relief that crossed Naruto’s face solidified Kakashi’s own resolve. “You came!”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Kakashi asked. He gently ruffled Naruto’s blonde hair his thumb caressed the soft strands as his free hand patted the horse’s neck. “You made an offer.”

“But you didn’t have to accept it.” Naruto said softly. “For a long time you’ve dedicated so much here, given so much and these people, this place and your job means so much to you. I know that, it was fair to assume that you wouldn’t have been able to leave, even if you wanted to,” He finished softly.

“I was given permission.” Kakashi admitted softly. “They nudged me out the door, gave me a good sending off, gave me their blessing and trust me Naruto. That’s enough, I’ve given so much this and you could be considered my reward.” His eyes slid closed as he smiled, the actual smile hidden behind his mask. “So there is really nothing to be sad about, my friends care about me and you too.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Naruto said so softly that Kakashi was reminded of why he had been drawn to Naruto and how, he was reminded of the reason Naruto had decided to leave. Unlike Kakashi, Naruto had no one to keep him behind, besides his horse there was no job and deep loyalty to the village like Kakashi. No team that he had strong bonds with, Naruto had done as he wanted and lived so he would have no regrets while accepting those he met and that had touched Kakashi.

Except now Naruto wanted to broaden his horizons. He wanted to, needed to see the world but he also needed to get away from the negative influences in his life. With his horse and his meager possessions, Naruto was prepared to never look back and Kakashi was going to go with him.

“You ready?” Kakashi asked softly. His hand captured Naruto’s free one and he raised it to his mask covered lips and he watched Naruto’s face. He smiled at the easy blush as he kissed Naruto’s hand. The soldier and the outcast, running off together what a strange turn of events, but Kakashi could not exactly say that he hated it.

X

He felt light as they left everything behind, destination the nearest place and it was not as if Kakashi had never wandered before, he had, under orders and certainly, definitely because of work but it was different with Naruto. He was busy looking at him, getting caught up in conversation, the way the sun shone on his face, hearing how his laughter bounced around, watching him lightly tease the horse before he fed it. Everything was different with Naruto.

“Kakashi?” He had allowed his steps to slow and Naruto had one hand bunched in the horse’s reins as he looked back questioningly. “Should we break?”

“No.” Kakashi answered, “There is no need, I just got caught up in my thoughts, about it all.”

“Yeah… it hasn’t sunk in yet, that I’m really here with you. That I’m doing this with you.” Light red dusted Naruto’s cheeks. “Part of me thinks I’ll wake up any second.”

“Well I can assure you that I’m not a dream.” Kakashi said softly. He took the lead before he smiled back at Naruto. “In my experience, when dreams are this good you see inconsistencies and then you quickly wake up.”

“Same with my dreams, when things get really good something weird happens, changing landscapes or people acting weirder.” Naruto released a sigh. “But I have a blank slate now, both of us do.”

“I like the sound of that.” Kakashi admitted. “I really like the sound of that.” He had made this decision for himself, not for anyone else, his first real selfish decision and so far it felt perfect.


End file.
